Looking back...

Well, I think it's safe to say another chapter of my life is coming to a close and a new one is getting ready to start....the only question is, am I ready?

This next year of my life is going to be different. It's going to change the person I am right now and will help develop me into the person I hope to be.

A better, stronger, more intelligent ME.

It makes me kind of sad to think about this past year and everything that came along with it.

I remember New Years.

I remember breaking up with my boyfriend of 1.6 years....and how we later fought for the following 7 months.

I remember doing summer school....ugh

I remember my 21st birthday...sort of.. :)

I remember this semester (unfortunately).

I remember making new friends and losing touch with old ones.

I remember joining an awesome band which I'm still in.

I remember bitchy roommates and awesome roommates.

I remember births and deaths.

I remember new experiences.

I remember dreams being born and being destroyed.

I remember the Morning Ritual and continue on my quest to get Adam Carolla off the air (asshole)..

I remember boys...so many boys...mistakes but fun mistakes..

Wow, many, MANY memories..

It's nice to think back on this year as probably one of my best. I really did change a lot more this year than probably any year in college so far, and I'm happy with how I turned out to be quite honest.

I had my share of issues and fails, but you have to in order to change for the good. The important thing is to keep moving forward.

And by the way, I am NOT looking forward to winter session....ew

A boy cooked me dinner tonight...that was interesting..I was surprised that chivalry is still existing in this world...let alone this state.

It was a nice evening and we're going to hang out again....I'm not sure how I feel about him though..

To be perfectly honest, I don't feel a spark, but more of a guyfriend spark than anything else.

I'm all for giving people a chance, so I won't be a bitch about it.

Ah, boys, they drive me crazy.....and don't even get me started on the one that still drives me crazy.


In my opinion, things haven't gotten better...things feel so stagnant and stale that it hurts to breathe the air around him....

I'm constantly reminded of him wherever I go and I hate it.

I'm done with it. I'm done with him. It hurts to feel that feeling of being unwanted and I don't want to feel it anymore.

I hope it passes quickly.

The other night was great. Played some capture the flag (soreness OW, but it was worth it)

Then some charades.....with pictionary cards...so much fun though.

I'm getting better, I can tell. I just hate being reminded of something that I thought was good and can no longer have. It's painful.

Christmas is here. eh

No word from my sister. I haven't talked to her in about a week. My mom saw her at her job and told her how she felt.

I feel bad for my mom. Cancer's a bitch and she doesn't need the stress of someone else put upon her like she has.

It'll work out....eventually......................I hope.

Music is okay....I'm a little stressed out because I feel like I'm getting worse with playing. I need to learn more songs. It's really hard to focus sometimes.

I hope that I can pull it together.

If anything, I feel at a standstill in the band especially since the "falling out" I had.

Things have been weird ever since that fucking day....and people wonder why I don't have a lot of girlfriends....so annoying.

Things are weird between us and continue to be and it just annoys the hell out of me.

I really need to start thinking like a guy again and get out of this whole emotional bullshit.

I hate that I'm like that sometimes but it comes out and it drives me insane.

Some things I want to do for this New Year:

1. Get better at playing violin

2. Learn more songs

3. Work out more

4. Do well in school/graduate

5. Be more carefree

6. Get my braces off (ahhhhhhhh!)

I know I can do it.