Happy Christmas....and a Merry New Year...?

Being sick is a bitch....and I'm finally getting over it thank God.

Tonsils swollen to the point of where it covers half of my throat...oh and some pus to top it off..

SEXY..

The good thing is that I went to the doctor right away this time instead of waiting 3-4 days like I did the last time..when I fainted at work..yay me.

Now I get to take these pills that have this powdery residue on them whenever I touch them...OR put them in my mouth.

And talk about a bad after taste..

Can't I just take shots of hard liquor instead?

Oh and nasal spray...which isn't that bad.

Things are getting scary.

Money wise specifically....I'm not really sure as to what I'm going to do for rent this month..I'm thinking I'll have to ask my parents for some money to help with rent and then just hold on until my payout comes in...or my next paycheck, whichever comes first.

My stagnant state is continuing unfortunately. Everything is still at a stand still.

I'm not really sure where I am with things and I think it's because I'm getting to that point near graduation and I'm not really sure where I'm headed next..

Things with the band are pretty much the same. I've learned a lot of songs but I'm having a bit of "writer's block" if you will with songs.

I think me tripping out from being sick helped though..

For some reason I was constantly singing Adavant songs over and over again in my head and it was driving me crazy to the point of where I was figuring out different patterns to play.

I haven't practiced in a while but I have a feeling that when I do I'll have at least some material to try to work into the songs.

I really need to try to work on 'Newfound' again...I think I just got really burnt out from learning all those songs as fast as I did and I ran out of juice for the moment. It'll come back I'm sure of it.

I cooked food for a boy tonight which is odd because I never cook for anybody. I'm still not sure what to think about him.

We watched 'Yellow Submarine' and ate hamburgers mmmmm

I didn't know what to do with the leftover meat so I threw it away because to thaw it I put it in a pot of hot water which kind of cooked it, so I figured it wouldn't be any good.

Then he calls me up 45 minutes later and says that we should have dinner tomorrow night and use the leftover meat......

Picture me digging through the trash to find it.

IT'S OKAY

It was in a Ziploc bag!!

Dec 23rd was interesting..

Went to Zoo Lights with the guys from the band...drank afterwards..then threw up...yay for drinking on an empty stomach!...but hey, for the record, I drank the same amount as our bassist and he threw up as well so HA! I CAN HOLD MY LIQUOR!

There were 8 of us.

He was there...bothered the hell out of because so was she.

I don't know why it continues to bother me when I'm done with it, put it behind me.

I think I'm more upset at other people's happiness then anything...or that I find her extremely annoying..one of the two..maybe both...eh...not sure.

Anyway....they were there...together...all over each other.

The body language was interesting...him facing away, her arms around him head on his back.

Like that doesn't say something...

I give it a couple more weeks...she seems like the clingy/crazy type..it'll come out..it's just a matter of time.

I say once a new girl presents herself, things will change for them...especially since they're not official.

I'm keeping my distance, trying to not get irritated by all of this...and it's hard.

I feel better everyday but it's just irritating to watch someone in a sense "get away" with doing something shitty to someone else.

Something good did come out of it.

I slept with his best friend...hehe

But I did it because I wanted to. He's a nice guy, makes me laugh and has manners.

He's a deep, sincere, caring guy and I find that really attractive. He makes a woman feel wanted and pays attention to you when you're around. He doesn't pretend you're not there when other people are. It's a nice feeling.

I'm not sure what to think about it though because the last time I saw him was after the hang out with everybody at the place he was house sitting at.

And he kissed me. Totally sober...and it was nice, like a real, 'I mean this' kiss.

Yeah, totally unclear about that shit....

I'm pretty sure once everybody comes back for the band and I see him again things will get talked about....maybe.

Christmas was okay...got a vacuum, pots/pans/DVDs..

Nothing amazing but eh, I really didn't say what I wanted.

My dad called my sister today...he asked her for an apology/explanation..

She told him that she doesn't have to tell him anything.

I'm really disappointed in her..it's sad too.

I remember when I was younger and I secretly sometimes wished that she was never born and that it was only me, my brother and younger sister. It kind of feels like I got what I wished for now..and I hate it.

I never meant it, I mean, as a kid we all sometimes wish our parents were dead or our siblings were never born, but we never do actually mean it and it's one of those things that when it happens it scares you.

A big part of me hopes she realizes her mistakes and faces the reality of them, but I don't think that will happen for a very long time.

Things are going to catch up to her VERY soon, and it's coming a lot sooner than she thinks it is.

I start winter session tomorrow....5 days a week, 3 hours a day, 3 weeks...1 class

It better be worth it.

Oh, and I got a vibrator for Christmas.

Best. Gift. EVAR.