New Year, New Issues

New Years was a fucking BITCH...

I'm not even sure where to begin.....

Let's see...where did the awkwardness begin..and where did it end....?

Well, I can guarantee you that it has not ended and will not end...bleh

Boy I cooked for decided to get obnoxiously drunk at a New Years party I went to and decided that he was going to try really hard to be next to me, come on to me....as long as it involved getting near me, he did it.

Me on the other hand, not being very happy because I had work the next morning (9-5 bitches...) did not really drink that much.

Oh, and my crazy ex-boyfriend showed up...if anything that made my night a bit entertaining but eh, I'd rather get my entertainment from someone else besides him.

But yeah, anyways...

Hanging out, not drinking a lot...midnight comes around..

My friend Kristi was there, and drunk like other people and decided I was going to be her New Years midnight kiss.

I was down..hey, kissing chicks is fun, not going to lie and I didn't really feel like kissing the boy who wouldn't let me breathe for 2 seconds..

So the countdown starts...10 seconds..

Kristi comes up to my right side, him on my left..

5 seconds..

They both start inching closer and closer..

At midnight...I turn to Kristi to kiss her and hear an "Oh shit" from my left..

I felt good, but shitty....but good regardless because I had gotten away with it and was slowly trying to inch my way away from him..


But.....that plan failed because before I knew it, he had spun me around and was planting one on me...

It's really a shitty feeling to not want to kiss someone who is currently kissing you. I mean, you can't do anything about it except go with it until they stop..which unfortunately felt like forever when it was really only 5 seconds....

May I add the LONGEST 5 seconds of my life...geez

After he did it, I pulled back and pushed away...

We talked about everything. How I felt, why I did/didn't feel a certain way towards him. It was awkward to say the least.

And then I felt embarrassed...mainly because EVERYBODY was in on it. My friends had been encouraging him telling him to make a move..

And AFTER I had shot him down, he was consoled by them all. I felt slightly betrayed in a way knowing that other people were telling him things that I wasn't aware of and things that I did not want to happen!

He ended up walking home that night, which was a long ways away...I felt kind of bad, but honestly, I really don't feel like being with someone who pouts like that. I mean shit, grow a pair and pull yourself together.

He called me today and wants to have dinner and 'chat'....argh

Yeah....I'm thinking about putting that off....? Yes.

Winter session is a pain already. It's been a week and I have a test on Monday as well as a paper due. I have a paragraph and 1 reference.

I fail.

I'm hoping these next 2 weeks go by relatively fast.

I'm also kind of worried about the first test. I want to do really well in this class and sadly I don't have the book for it because I can't AFFORD IT.

The GOOD news however is that I'm supposed to get my payout on Friday Jan 9th which is next week weeeeeeeeeee!

So...MAYBE by then I'll be able to properly study. Maybe.

I'm almost considering just going to the bookstore and reading the book in the store to study.

We'll see..

First and foremost I need to do this paper................which I am putting off because I am writing about my experiences over the last couple of days, which to me is way more intriguing then my topic about how attractiveness affects hiring in the work place.

And it really doesn't help that EBSCO is not working properly and is taking forever to load..

Oh, and my Acrobat Reader is being a bitch for some reason. Thanks for that.

Tonight was fun. Hung out with my bff...she had a crazy night.

I got to meet some interesting people. It was nice.

I haven't heard from my sister since before New Years. I still think about her and wonder if she's okay. She probably is it's just not knowing if she's REALLY okay...without her meds and all.

Boys hmm..nothing new there. I've gotten over my latest which is good. I feel better and it's mainly because I haven't had to personally deal with it and see it in action. I personally think his new girl/fling is as dull and empty headed as a fucking amoeba...but hey, that's just me.

My bff agrees with me on this one...there's something about her that just bothers me and I can't put my finger on it...I just think it's her clingy nature and lame ass excuse for a personality. He's in for a surprise is all I can say....and I have a feeling he's getting to the point of being done with her....it's only a matter of time.